You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
