So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
