For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize