I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
