god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
