I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
