mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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