I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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