dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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