I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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