bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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