All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Someone shattered a urinal.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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