Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
