The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
