My nipple is on Facebook.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
How external is "for external use only"?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize