At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
