I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
