she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
That reminds me...we need to get swords
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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