I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
