Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
this boner is exhausting
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
