Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
