8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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