i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Randomize
