Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
