drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
