If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
