I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
