I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
