i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
