on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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