So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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