You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
