I think i sorta joined a cult last night
he shaved USA in his pubs
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
