Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
