i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
