Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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