Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
