this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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