Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
