im six kinds of drunk right now
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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