i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
