Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
