booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
