I need to stop coming to work sober
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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