so that wasnt chicken after all
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
