You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I wish I could teleport
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
where are my eyebrows?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
