John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
