Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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