i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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