Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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