I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
