whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
