New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
