so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
ttyl tear gas
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
