I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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