Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize