the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize