Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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