goodnight i made you a song goodbye
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
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