You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
