i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
