In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Of course I have a pirate flag
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
