Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
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