So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize