happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
