I have demons in me.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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