haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
God, I missed his penis.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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