Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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