this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
