Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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