she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize