Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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