That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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