My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
