At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
