I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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