no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
