My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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